Joanna didn’t know what shave meant, but she nodded anyway to be friendly. “Ssssssssshafffe,” she said proudly. She learned a new word. New words were fun. Flicking out her tongue, she stood on her hind legs with her forelegs on the counter so she could get a closer look.
Berezi was squeezing the excess water from her brush when she thought she heard the word, looking down at the lizard in disbelief. No, no. She’d done this before, and the goanna did not talk. It wouldn’t be the strangest thing to happen to her, but still, she refused to believe it. She dumped the bowl’s contents, adding some shaving cream and lathering it up, before brushing it on thickly across her lower face and down under her chin, as a habit. She’d learned this properly, though she never grew the hair that the other ETA members had expected, and she’d do it properly, hair or no hair. Now to let it sit for a moment to soak in.
McLeach used to shave with his knife. He can’t grow facial hair anymore and it makes him sad. Darn it, Berezi, you made him sad.
((HAH, tis what I live for. In any case, it’s not like Rezzi has any real facial hair, just that bit of peach fuzz women have. But she shaves that so she can keep up appearances, I guess.))
((Berezi is 100% manlier than all you fuckers and she doesn’t even need a beard.))
After hissing a quick hello to Charlotte, she followed Berezi to the bathroom. It had the smell all bathrooms did, but she usually couldn’t find the source of the smell. Why did humans bring their waste to one room and where did they put it? She had been trained to go outside or on a paper, but she knew where that went. It went in the bag that the not-food things went into when people wanted to clean their funny nests. People were strange animals and she didn’t understand why they did these things. That was something else she would have to ask. After peeking into a toilet curiously, she went to stand in front of the mirrors to watch the female human.
Berezi turned the faucet on as hot as it would go, filling her small bowl with the hot water and letting her brush rest within it and soak. She let the hot water run for a moment longer, as she moved to lock the door and pulled her mask off. She was aware that the lizard was still there, but she didn’t pay her much mind, knowing that goannas couldn’t exactly speak and tell others what she looked like. She removed her gloves right after, turning th faucet down to a lower temperature and waiting before wetting her face. She spared Joanna a look.
"I bet ‘e does not shave like thees."
No…. No, she knew that Elsa was strong enough to take care of herself, and Maxwell…. He couldn’t have been, she would have known…. No.
No no no no.
She wasn’t strong enough, if she had been Elsa would still be alive.
That, or it wouldn’t affect her like it was now.
The Spy curled in on herself, mind coming up with a million ways she could have done it, could have saved her. Elsa didn’t deserve death, she was so alive, she had so much left to do…
Berezi awoke with an empty feeling in her gut.
The lizard got up to follow her and watch what she did. She was curious about female humans. She hadn’t met many and most were afraid of her. This one was different, but at least she was a female she could observe.
If Joanna really wanted to observe female humans, then she had certainly picked the wrong one. Berezi’s first stop was her room, where she left her whetting stone and strop and removed her jacket and bowtie. With one hand, she held the door open in case the lizard wanted in, to join Charlotte beneath her heating lamp; with the other, she carried her shaving kit. If Joanna didn’t stay, she would follow Berezi to the nearest bathroom, where she found a mirror and began to set up her things.
She followed the skinny human around. When she put the eggs in the fridge, she sighed inwardly. At least the cold box would keep the eggs warm for later. The razor thing was something she recognized too. People used those at the new place she was staying. They used it to cut off their fur. How the warm bloods expected to stay warm without their fur she would never know. They couldn’t just use the warm sun. Maybe the funny skins they wore were for more than attracting mates with their bright colors. She would have to ask someone when they bothered to learn her language. Bored, she curled up around the Spy’s feet and waited for something to happen. At least she was warm while she waited.
Berezi noted the reptile around her feet, but didn’t bother her, instead focusing on stropping her razor. She lifted it again, examining the edge in the light before reaching under her mask to pull out a hair. She laid the blade on the table, facing the sharp edge up, and drew the hair down the center of the sharp edge, effectively splitting it.
She folded up the length of leather and stood, trying not to disturb the lizard but needing to find an open bathroom that no one was liable to enter. It was fairly easy, judging by how empty the base was.
The skinny human couldn’t hunt for herself, that was obvious, so Joanna would have to feed her. She assumed the petting was to thank her for the good job she did bringing the eggs. Now, what else should she bring her? Humans didn’t like nice, dead things. Maybe a rabbit? She could bring a jackrabbit.
Berezi scooped up the eggs and straightened, clicking her tongue to let Joanna know to follow her. She’d deposit these in the fridge and get back to her razor. She didn’t want to leave her things alone for too long, in case someone took a fancy to them. They were almost all that was left of what she’d brought into the United States.
She sat back down quietly, putting her strop back onto her lap, lifting her razor to inspect the edge.